Ok, I’m ready to not be pregnant now. At almost 35 weeks, I am totally over it – achy in every way, leaky in (almost) every way, exhausted at all times of the day, consistently anxious that I’ve not prepared enough, and just excited to meet my little girl. I want to start our new life, have our newly expanded family, start getting used to the way things will be.
My son is reaching peak clingy-ness now too. At two and a half I think he is grasping the concept of having a little sister, a baby, as much as can be expected – and he seems excited about it, kissing my belly and saying, “hello baby, I love you”. Still, I can’t help but feel guilty that his little world is about to be totally rocked, and that I won’t be able to be at his beck and call anymore.
But I also know that this will all be temporary. That he will adapt, and that having a little sister to kiss and cuddle will be his new normal, and our family of four will be his world and safe haven. He won’t remember a time without his sister to love, he won’t know any different, and we won’t either.
I can barely imagine what life was like before having my son, how much free time we must have had and how much sleep! I do remember nearing his birth and feeling overwhelmed with concern over what I lives would become, but once he was here those concerns melted away. It didn’t matter. This was my life now. This little person needed me, and I needed him.
I know it will be the same with my daughter.
We will look back on these first couple of years with our son and laugh about how simple it seems in retrospect, and how we had no idea what adding a newborn to the mix would bring. And then we will smile sweetly at one another and know without saying a word that we wouldn’t change it for the world, and that the happiness these babies have brought is more than we would ever have dared to imagine. But I am daring to imagine. Imagine how wonderful it will be to meet my daughter, how amazing it will be to see my son become a big brother, and all of the incredible things this little girl will add to our lives.
Can’t wait to see you baby girl.